Naw, I don’t want to be a dog….a poem

I put on a collar one time.

Wanted to get that feel.
But then I’m not
a real dog.

I hate to beg,
I prefer steak,
not doggy food.

And I want to have
non doggy feelings
like Eros and
why magic
happens.

Naw,
I’ve seen how Masters
treat their doggies.

From having to poop in
public to being chained,
beaten just
because you
hump?

And some Masters
are unbelievably
cruel, not
enough food and
sometimes I don’t want
to breed!

Makes me
run away
and get
lost….

07.19.2021

If you may have noticed, I removed the “Missing Persons page. I haven’t deleted it, because I know in my heart that I can do a better job, but haven’t.

So until I get my act together, it will stay pulled.

However, the number of people missing scares me.

Because some of those missing people could be among the homeless I pass by everyday.

Some of them truly lost.

But no one will ever know that, until they are found.

I managed to pick up a temp assignment, so that’s cool.

I don’t like sharing a lot on my journals, because I love being an introvert.

But the blog exist as personal therapy, and as a chronicle.

So forgive me for my outbursts, because I’m living a wonderful life.

‘miserable life’, a poem.

Flowers and
Trees flourish and thrive
without a reason to live,
so why not I too?

That can’t be that easy!
That all I have to do is exist.

My children are all grown,
getting wiser everyday,
with children of their own.

And what of the love and fear of death?

Death will always be my dancing partner,
But I can dance with life, hedonism and
some higher purpose than to end a ‘miserable life’.

This life isn’t the one I ordered,
But its the one I’ll live.

07.03.2021

Despite all my troubles with money, the roof over my head and state of the human condition, I think of myself as a person living a relatively good life.

There were several different occasions in which I could have loss my life, but I’m still here.

One of those occasions was when contracted HIV back in 1989. And because I really didn’t want to live anymore back then, refused taking HIV medication until 2017.

I think there are at least two reasons why didn’t die: a kick ass immune system and my personal war with what ever passes for a Supreme Being.

It was simple, I wanted to die, the Supreme Being stopped me.

And I have say, we are likely still at odds with each other.

I was considering going off the meds, because I hate medication, but realized that I still have sex with folks then I should protect them from the virus.

And I think that’s a good reason.

Because the labor environment has changed, I’m considering a work a home job.

Crossing fingers!

And by the way, have a happy 4th of July!

O6.19.2021

9:25 PM

After a year and a half, there is the possibility that I may become homeless again if I don’t the rent.

So I’m stepping up my efforts to find a job.

But what I have seen so far are retail jobs, and I make it a rule not to deal with customers. People are just too icky, and while I believe in good customer service, I prefer to work in the back of the house.

I’ll find something.

I’m also afraid that I’m going to leave people alone as far as sex and dating. I practice my own versions of Tantra and Taoism, and I seem to be the only person on Earth that practice those.

No, I’m not dating anyone if they don’t practice either.

Even the ‘C’ word keeps popping up in my mind, (celibacy).

I decided awhile ago to date people seriously if they practice a philosophy or spirituality. And I think I should keep it that way.

What is a Satyr to do?

I came here for
A vacation:

Best sex den
In the Milky!

But when I leave,
I will rip the hostel manager
a new hole,
And rim him until he screams!

The people are real,
And orgasms in
all the right places,
but do so with
guilt and stigma.

With little spirit
or soul.

Goddess!

I hate this place….
….because I pressed
the emergency release doors….

(Shi!t!
I could give better
blowjobs than
these guys….)

and
I’m pathetic!

….that was
five million years ago….

They wore white sheets…., a poem.

The shootin’ started over
The lids of coffins,
One group of shooters
were burying people
trying to vote,
I could hear their crys
from
under their lids.

The shooters wore white sheets,
burned down the town,
torched my house.

But you didn’t kill us,
We still rise….

05.30.2021

I have no idea why there is still so much hate in the 21st century. It seems to be in everything in society. As a child, I had not experienced hate.

Today, I fear that I can not trust anyone with discussions concerning spirituality, do to the desire to not feel ostracized.

I’m convinced by experience and perception that Christianity is at least in part responsible for that hate, and that I shouldn’t date Christians.

OK, I didn’t say that right: that I should date only those who practice sacred sexuality, or some other alternative spirituality.

You see, I have been seduced and turned out by the sexual energy I in my teens, and wanted to further explore this with a fitting spirituality.

But in all my life, there were only two people that came close to that spirituality,and neither were from my two failed marriages.

Now, at age 56, I’m continually forced to the logical conclusion that celibacy is the only option — an option I’ve ignored for two decades, because well, sex feels too bloody good!

But not doing so leaves me less enlightened, and unfulfilled.

Schrodinger’s Cat’s Revenge, a poem.

How dare these
humans put me in
a box,
and declare my existence
in a quantum state!

Poisoning the planet,
killin’ all the fish!

How’s this for
a thought problem:
What happens when
the Alpha predator kills
all the food?

Hit: I and the crows will dine on
You.